Dear Thurston

I'm a lonely 14 year-old. I'm not pretty, outgoing or interesting. Why do guys only like beautiful girls?Anonymous

Because the majority of guys are too stupid and insensitive to realize a person like you may possess qualities of beauty. Become aware of what's beautiful within you and cultivate it. Don't be afraid of men. Be true to yourself, and hopefully an honest love will come your way. The more you have confidence and belief in your own beauty, the more likely this is to happen.

There's this guy that I really like. He tells everyone that he doesn't even like me as a friend, but when we're alone together we do things that are reserved for people who think of each other as more than friends. What do I do?
A friend, more, or less? Huntley, IL

The guy's a jerk. I know that won't discourage you from liking him, but he's got a major personality flaw: disrespecting you. Be careful of this kind of butthead, because his sleaze behavior may rub off on you, and then your life will become more and more hellish. Next time you're alone with him and he tries to get "friendly," tell him your friend Thurston Moore wants to kick his ass. And then tell him why.

here babe